Trying to be a couple instead of just parents.

I’m pretty sure we aren’t the only ones but sometimes trying to be a couple as well as parenting can be very difficult. Even more so now the children are older with Harry being 13 and Ellie being 12 it isn’t like we can send them to bed at 7 pm anymore and enjoy the rest of our night. In fact by the time they have gone to bed it’s time for Gareth to start venturing to bed as he likes to be tucked up quite early in case the babies wake up with the sun!

Where did we go? 

Somewhere , somehow amongst the mountains of nappies, school runs, washing, cleaning, cooking , helping with homework etc we seem to have lost each other and it has become difficult. Everything we do is for the kids from morning till night 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Quite rightly they are our absolute world, but what about us? We are just existing in this big world. I genuinely can’t remember the last time we sat and had a laugh together. Went out for a night on our own even curled up on the sofa and watched a film. In fact the last time we did anything together was probably when we went out for a Mothers Day lunch and even then we weren’t alone  and wouldn’t have gone if I hadn’t won it.

We both seem to have settled into routine and lost us along the way, and it’s really quite sad because it seems to be clear to everyone else in the world that we are perfect for each other but doesn’t to us.  We live together and take care of the kids together but other than that we have become strangers in the same house.

We lost our way that much that we called off our wedding for the end of the year  which isn’t what either of us really wanted to do but we decided until we can find ourselves and each other again it would be the sensible option. We don’t want a wedding day where we only feel special to each other on that day and we don’t want a relationship where we are only having a wedding so that we get to spend some special time together.

Whats the plan batman? 

The other night lay on the bed together ( don’t panic this isn’t the start of some dodgy story) and spoke about how we were feeling and about how we have lost each other and decided to start completely over again. Strip everything back and try to remember why we fell in love in the first place. We met online almost 5 years ago so the most natural way to start again is to start messaging each other. Rediscovering each other all over again. It’s been about 3 days now and I can honestly say we have spoken more in those 3 days than we have in the last 3 years. How sad is that?   We have giggled, found out things about each other that we genuinely didn’t know and just enjoyed chatting to each other.

He’s even asked me to meet up with him for coffee ( I know this might sound a little crazy seen as we live together and are together constantly) It will be nice to go out of the house, no computers, no TV’s no distractions and enjoy each others company again like we used to. Sometimes I wonder if too much has happened and it’s too late to save. Then I look at him being the most amazing dad in the world. Helping around the house, making my morning cuppa and I realise sometimes the best things are worth fighting for.

 

Who knows we may even get that wedding one day but for now we are enjoying dating all over again 🙂

 

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