Sad Mummy : How do you cope when your child appears to dislike you?

I am and always have been a firm but fair mother. I enjoy teaching my children new things and watching as they explore the world around them and learn. However recently I have come across something that I have never dealt with before and that is my son really seems to dislike me.

I don’t even mean a little or even when I’ve had to tell him off for doing something naughty. This is an everyday thing. It isn’t something I talk about not even to Gareth but it is something that is really starting to make me sad and I figured that I can’t be the only parent out there facing this and feeling this way.

I adore Freddie as much as the rest of the children. If anything I have a soft spot for him as he seems to be a little different from the rest ( I will explain more about that in a future post).

When did it begin?

Literally from when he was born really. Freddie was Gareths first ever baby and in turn that meant that Mummy didn’t get a look in. He wanted to do everything. Feeding him, night feeds , changing him. Don’t get me wrong after raising the 3 elder ones with very little help I really appreciated that he wanted to be so involved and I could rest but it also made it difficult to create a good strong bond.

I would where possibly scoop him up, play games and cuddle him on the sofa. Sing, count, dance, make him laugh but for everything else it was Daddy.  If he hurt himself I would go to help him and Daddy would swoop in and take him off me to make sure he was OK.

The fact that Freddie means so much to his Daddy is adorable but in turn has created a little bit of a problem where I try to do something and I am “Stinky”. Just the other day I tried to help him on the toilet as he is toilet training to be clearly told ” I don’t like you”.

He also was asked

“Freddie do you love Daddy?”

“Yes”

” Freddie do you love Jelly?”

“Yes”

“Freddie do you love Mummy?”

” No”

He literally went through the whole family one by one saying he loved them and not me. In that moment my heart just sank. No matter how hard I try. Taking him to the park, trying to get him to engage in fun things. Lying on his bed and reading a story at night he just doesn’t like his Mummy and I genuinely have no idea how I deal with it as all of my other children and even Bethie have been complete mummies kids. If they’re hurt it’s me they come to. If they need advice it’s me.

Maybe Freddie isn’t so close because I worked full-time when he was very small so I wasn’t around as much as I was for the rest of them. I really don’t know but if anyone has any advice I would love to hear it

Yours Sincerely

A Sad Mummy

x

 

Freddie is now a big boy 3!! And I want my baby back!

On Thursday my youngest little man turned a big boy 3! It’s crazy to think how fast it has gone. I’m pretty sure it was only yesterday I found out I was pregnant with him yet here he is all grown up.

The night before his birthday we had to call the out of hours docs as he wasn’t very well, they diagnosed him with croup so he has spent the majority of the last few days a poorly bunny.

It’s so completely crazy to think come September he will be in proper nursery like a big boy, He loves going to ‘school’ and they have placed him in one of the bigger rooms for September. Hopefully he will settle in OK. You see Freddie isn’t the most sociable of children. He is very independent and knows what he likes and dislikes. He isn’t afraid to tell you if there is something he doesn’t want to do ( remind you of anyone?)

What did he get?

He is completely and utterly firemen obsessed so he had a lot of firemen/ fire engine related toys. Including dressing up clothes, puzzles and fire engines.  I decided to get him a bit of art and crafts as he doesn’t generally do much arty stuff. He’s never really been interested in it unlike his brother and sister who were art and craft obsessed.

Freddie absolutely LOVES to pretend that he is rescuing somebody and his imagination is incredible. He has such an amazing bright personality, recently we found a video Annabelle had recorded on our phones and in it Freddie jumps up and takes over, it’s so cute to watch you should check it out!

Whatever you do don’t blink!

In a flash your cute baby will be all grown up and independent. Enjoy every second of the night feeds and cuddles because they don’t last forever. I remember wishing my baby would just sleep and now I long for the days where I could cuddle and rock him to bed without him being a “big boy now”

Thanks for reading.

 

 

Big Boy Class already???

As some of you know the decision to put Freddie into nursery was not something I did eagerly. I was very much in the frame of mind that if I’m at home then why shouldn’t I look after him, he’s my child and my responsibility. Not only that but I believe the nursery places for 2 year olds should be available for working parents as I know what it’s like to have to pay out nursery fees and feeling like you’re working and missing out for nothing but to pay the bills. (sorry I’m babbling and going far from what I was intending on writing about!)

Anyway after much deliberation I decided it was in his best interests for him to go ( much to Daddies devastation) as his behaviour was becoming increasingly difficult and he wasn’t very good when it came to mixing with children his own age. The big uns are far older than Freddie and Beth is only a baby so Freddie has been very spoilt and when the others have been at school he has been pampered with love and kisses and everything that he wants. Ok what I’m trying to say in a polite way, my son turned into a spoilt brat. He needed to learn how to share, be with other children and how to play nicely. Not only that he is also very smart so needed that extra stimulation.

Big boy class already? but it’s not september!

Freddie has been doing incredibly well at nursery. They can’t believe that he had behaviour problems at home because he has been golden there. Everything they tried to teach him he already knew, such as boy and girl, empty and full, numbers, colours etc. We went to parents evening not long ago and they commented on how amazing his manners are. That’s one thing I can vouch for even when he’s stropping and shouting ‘stop it’ he adds a please on the end of it.

Last week we took him into nursery to be greeted at the door by one of the nursery staff saying pre-school for you today Freddie. I am not going to lie my heart sank. Now don’t get me wrong, I am pleased he has done so well they want him to go into the class early BUT I wasn’t prepared for it. I wasn’t expecting him to go into the big class until September. He’s only 2!

He absolutely loved it, he wasn’t sure when he first walked in and I thought he might get upset but he didn’t he thrived in there. When we went to pick him up we asked if this was going to be a permanent thing now and we were told no it was just a couple of taster sessions until he starts properly in September. He has been in the big class ever since! We drop him off to the small class and everyday when we go to pick him up he is back in the big class.  They said he is doing perfect, doesn’t struggle in there. Loves interacting and playing with his friends ( Freddie went to play group for over a year and rarely played with other kids) So he is more than ready.

Mummy on the other hand want to wrap her baby boy up in a towel with a hood on it and give him a bottle, sing him to sleep, wind him … you get the gist!

It turns out in Freddie’s case the decision to send him to nursery was the right one in the end.

Thanks for reading

Things you never thought you would hear yourself say – Until you became a parent.

Before I became a parent there were many things I wouldn’t dream of saying, things such as ‘Please stop drinking out of your brothers potty’ or ‘Don’t scratch your bum then sniff your finger’ Today another little gem occurred when Gareth said ‘ Freddie please stop drinking off the table’ After Freddie has spilt his drink all over the table then proceeded to lick it off like a cat!  So I took to some of my favourite bloggers and asked them. “What are the things you never thought you would hear yourself say? ” Continue reading “Things you never thought you would hear yourself say – Until you became a parent.”

A toddler love story – Freddie & Evelyn

When you’re pregnant it can become very isolated. Your friends vanish into thin air because they think you can no longer do anything and the world goes much quieter. This is why I decided to join Babycentre and see if I could make some friends. People in the same situation as I was and people who I could talk to when I needed to. Little did I know it would be the start of the cutest little toddler love story ever! Continue reading “A toddler love story – Freddie & Evelyn”

How exactly do you get your toddler to wear clothes?

For the last week or so Freddie has become a bit of an exhibitionist. The thought of wearing a T-Shirt absolutely terrifies him and now he has taken to not wearing trousers either and simply parading around in his pants. How exactly do I get him to wear clothes? He is currently potty training so at the moment we are changing his pants every 2 seconds. Despite us asking him every 2 seconds if he needs a wee, he still manages to pee everywhere! Continue reading “How exactly do you get your toddler to wear clothes?”

The terror toddler has a soft side!

You’ve all heard me talk about Freddie and how he’s my tough one. The one that’s decided to test boundaries. Who could make even the toughest of parents a bit if a jibbering mess.  My terror toddler. If he isn’t trying to be an escape artist by darting out of the doors if they are unlocked for a second, he’s usually climbing on something he shouldn’t or throwing a massive toddler tantrum. However today I witnessed a miracle! Continue reading “The terror toddler has a soft side!”

Bad Behaviour and Attempting a new routine- toddler troubles

So I’ve mentioned before about my troublesome whirlwind Freddie who is 2 years old, well a brief outline for anyone who hasn’t read my blog before now, Freddie is 2 years old and the complete apple of his daddies eye. We have 5 children however the older 3 are from my previous 10 year marriage and Freddie and Beth ( the baby of the family) are with my fiance Gareth of almost 5 years. Gareth doesn’t have any other children so Freddie was Gareths first biological child. He adores all 5 children and is an amazing father to all of them. However Freddie is extremely spoilt, Continue reading “Bad Behaviour and Attempting a new routine- toddler troubles”

To send to nursery or not?

I’m not sure whether or not you are aware but the government now has a new scheme where if you fit into a certain criteria you are able to send your child to nursery from the age of 2 for 15 hours per week.

Eligibility for 2-year-olds

Your 2-year-old can get free early education and childcare if you get one of the following: Continue reading “To send to nursery or not?”