#Bullieswontwin – Jo’s Story

Last week our story came from Just Average Jen, I think the transformation in her is just amazing!

This week our story comes from Jo from Pickle and Poppet.

Please could you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself.

Hi! I’m Jo. I’m a mother to two children, Reuben who is three and Jessica who is a baby. I’ve just returned to work following my maternity leave. I started to write my blog as an outlet whilst on maternity leave.

Can you remember when the bullying started for you? Where were you? What happened?

I don’t remember the exact time but I know I was at High School when it started. I was in year 8 or 9 so it happened quite early and went on for most of my High School years. If I’m honest I don’t really know what happened. One day all was fine and then the next I was being shouted at by people. I was being blamed for something that I hadn’t done. That night I had to get the head teacher to call me parents to pick me up as a group of girls were outside the school gates ‘waiting for me’ it continued from then on really.

Can you remember how it made you feel at the time?

I was terrified. I’ve never liked drama, or confrontation. I didn’t want to go to school because at least one of the girls was always in one of my classes. Bunking off classes that were the worst just so that I didn’t have to face them happened often.
I felt humiliated as my little sister would stick up for me and that things would be shouted at me from across the class. I was always waiting to be hit but that never happened, it was always threats and mean comments being thrown around. In honesty that was probably worse.

How has bullying affected you in your life and how you are as a person?

I really struggle to make friends with girls. Always expecting them to be bitchy and that similar situations would rise again. I know now that this is not the case and try to make an effort but it is really difficult. Now I’m older I’ve learned to deal with it and try to forget it as I know that not everyone is like that, but is is hard to forget the way I was made to feel. I dread seeing ‘school reunion’ being thrown around, for most people school was great and they want to see each other again, whereas I don’t feel like that.

If you could change anything about your experience what would it be? What would you do differently?

If I could completely change what happened, it just wouldn’t have happened.
I would have spoken about it more, with teachers mostly. Although it happened at school it wasn’t done in ear shot of the teachers. Even though the head had to call my parents to collect me one night, because I never mentioned it they assumed that it was all sorted, a one off. I know now that if people don’t know they can’t help you.

If you could give one piece of advice to somebody who is going through bullying now what would it be?

Speak to someone. Anyone. Teacher, Mum, Dad, Helpline. Just tell someone and get them to help you. It will not make it worse. It’s so much harder now as there is social media – block them all. Everyone. If there is a horrible comments or message block them so they cannot get to you and report it.
Remember, they are the minority. It doesn’t seem like at the moment but they are. The majority of people will want to help you, look for the good.

Website: https://pickleandpoppet.uk
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pickleandpoppet.uk/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/PickleandPoppet
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pickle.poppet/ 

Thank you Jo for sharing your story and for your wise words of encouragement and advice to those going through this now.

Would you like to be featured in my #Bullieswontwin campaign? If so please get in touch , you can find the details you need for my campaign here.

#Bullieswontwin – Jen’s Story

Last week we heard Hannah’s story and how bullying has affected her, this week we have Jen from Just Average Jen telling us what she went through.

 

Please could you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself.

Hi I am Jen I’m a 36 year old mum of one. I am a full time mum and a blogger which is something I really enjoy doing. My blog started because so many people said I was inspirational and should share my story when I lost weight. I lost just over 10 stone by healthy eating alone. Now I blog about food, my new interest in running, products I love, things I do with my family and lots more, basically just my life and waffles online! My blog is called Just Average Jen because when I started my weight loss journey I just wanted to be average! I had spent years being the fat one, the poor one, the loud One, the shy one, the ugly one, the spotty one etc bit I never felt average and that’s all I wanted to be!

Can you remember when the bullying started for you? Where were you? What happened?

I first remember being picked on as such at primary school when i was 6 or 7 and called fat. I wasn’t fat and looking back at photos now I was most definitely average but the girl at school called me fat once and it stuck in my head and that was the reason she didn’t play with me. I guess it wasn’t bullying in the way some people experience but it did start me on the path of being bullied in other circumstances too because it made me feel like I deserved no better and didn’t deserve friends. I was wrong of course i deserved friends.

Can you remember how it made you feel at the time?

I felt worthless and like I didn’t have the right to have friends.

How has bullying affected you in your life and how you are as a person?

For a long time I was a victim to other bullying over the years including in adulthood until I realised that I could be who I want to be and changed the bits of my life I was not happy with ie my weight and accepted other bits I didn’t like but most of all I realised that people who have nothing nice to say are not worthy of my attention and their opinions do not matter to me.

 

If you could change anything about your experience what would it be? What would you do differently?

 

I would believe people when they told me that bullies are not worth your tears because they aren’t. There are plenty of people out there whonwill love you for you. Sometimes it’s hard to see them but when you find them you see the bullies aren’t worth it at all.

If you could give one piece of advice to somebody who is going through bullying now what would it be?

 

Concentrate on the happy parts of your life and the people that care for you and when the bullies see they are not upsetting you and are not stopping you being happy they will have failed.
Thank you Jen for sharing your story with us, if you would like to know more about Jen and her journey or her blog you can find her on the links below.