You’re FAT!!!! and no I don’t mean with a PH we mean actual FAT!

Today has been what can only be described as f*cking horrible, awful, soul-destroying, hard, down heartening.   Tough. I have been called fat not once but twice!

Now don’t get me wrong I am fat, In fact I am over 15 stone of fat and more than aware of it but I am also working bloomin hard to become fitter and healthier.

I have done nothing but try to improve my health and weight recently by joining the gym, going to clubbercise, swimming and eating healthily and to be called fat is just like a big kick in the teeth.  Ironically until I actually started working out and losing weight I was NEVER called fat by anyone but I guess that will be because before I used to smoke so that was the go to thing to give me abuse for and now I don’t smoke they have to go to the next thing.

Fat Shame number 1

The first fat shaming I got was walking into the hospital. As I was walking along and checking my paperwork to make sure I was in the right place someone shouted out of their car window “F*cking Fat B*tch” now as much as I would like to think they weren’t talking to me I was the only person around at the time.

I have a couple of things to say to that person. Firstly yes I am fat but I can diet and I would rather that than have the disgraceful personality or attitude that you have. Secondly you have no idea what so ever why I was entering that hospital. I could have been going to see a very sick family member, one of my children, had an extremely important appointment and it could have been something serious. As it happens it was just a check up from my Essure Procedure but never the less you had no idea what was going on in my life or with me today whilst you were shouting abuse out of your window.

Fat Shame number 2

I went to the doctors as recently I have been really struggling to move after sitting or lying down for a long period of time. I assume that it is from all of the lumbar punctures I have received and I am genuinely a little concerned that it may have caused some serious damage. Anyway I went to the doctors who told me it was absolutely nothing to do with my lumbar punctures as it was in the wrong place ( I disagree, I know exactly where I had my lumbar punctures and where the pain is) anyway he said that my back was going into muscle spasm and that was causing the pain. He then decided to weigh me and turned all the attention off my bad back and onto the fact that I was overweight.

He told me everything I do is wrong, right down to the amount of exercise I do in the gym and recommended that I take up pilates.  I eat wrong, exercise wrong , you name it I do it wrong I actually left there got in the car and just broke down in tears. I was vlogging my day so you can see some of how my day went by watching that, I promise there aren’t loads of snot bubbles!

Anyway I dealt with the whole thing the way I do best…. I got home thought about it all and despite every ounce of me saying f*ck it eat loads of cake I got ready and went to the gym and took all of my frustrations out there, then I had a bath …

From me to everyone who is doubting me or is putting me down WATCH THIS SPACE!!!! I love nothing more than proving people wrong!

Thanks for reading,

 

Which diet is the right one for me?

I am battling with my weight at the moment and really struggling to lose the extra pounds that I have gained since giving birth to Beth and quitting smoking. I really dislike the way that I look and how it is affecting my confidence. In fact in the last 2 months I have managed to put on nearly a whole stone! A stone!! Continue reading “Which diet is the right one for me?”