Stress awareness day is next week so I wanted to share my story.
This year has been one hell of a year , I got to such a place that I didn’t want to wake up ever again and I was serious. It was all down to stress. I genuinely believed that nobody would care if I was here or not and that my children would be better off without me.
I didn’t believe the doctors
I went to doctors over and over again who told me It was just stress. That I had been through so much and kept it bottled inside that my mind had just exploded like a bottle of pop. I didn’t believe them, I thought I was going mad or something. I never believed in a million years that stress could do that to somebody.
Times and been tough
I had lost my mother at the end of last year and hadn’t properly dealt with her death aswell as losing a long term relationship, battles with health, personal issues and other general life things. Somehow whilst just cracking on with it I lost myself. Then I had CBT where they questioned the things I felt about myself and made me see that I wasn’t any of those things that I believed I was.
The turning point
That was a turning point for me. I decided to stop overthinking everything because it was literally making me ill. I stopped caring about other people’s opinions of me and I started to put myself first for once. As a result I started feeling better, began to see a brighter outlook in life and genuinely couldn’t be any further from that person who didn’t want to live anymore.
Life is so much better
Since I’ve stopped letting thing get on top of me and I’ve started doing what’s right for me and what I want to do good things have happened. My life is like a whole new life , that’s just beginning . I don’t stress anymore if things happen they happen, I’ve learned that somethings are beyond my control and stressing about them won’t change them.
They were right all along
Turns out the doctors were right I was just highly stressed and wasn’t mentally ill but my god I don’t ever want to sink that low again. It was a short sharp dose of reality.
I consider myself lucky , I was able to come out the other end stronger. Some people aren’t so lucky and have to deal with these things everyday. They aren’t stressed they are poorly and there is definitely not enough awareness and understanding for mental health.
have you been affected by stress? Feel free to write your journey in the comments below.
Thank you for reading