Last night before I climbed into bed I did my usual check of the house, first the doors were all locked. Then the windows were all closed. The heating was on as it was cold and it was off to check everyone’s bedrooms. First stop was the boy’s room where Harry and Freddie were sleeping soundly.
Next was into Ellie’s room where I found her sound asleep with her film still playing on her laptop so I carefully took the laptop away, placed it down by the side of her bed, tucked her in, gave her a kiss and walked out.
My final journey was into the smaller girls room where I made sure they were both tucked up and snoring soundly and lovely and warm. As I climbed into bed myself I lay there ready to starfish the night away and thought about how even though Harry and Ellie are now 13 and 12 I still feel the need to check on them before I go to bed myself.
In fact sometimes now I will go to bed before them and give them a time to go upstairs but what they don’t realise is even though I hand them that little bit of responsibility I don’t actually go to sleep myself.
I can never go to sleep until I know that every single one of my children are asleep and comfortable and warm. So as I lay there last night I wondered to myself if I will ever get to the point where I will be able to settle fully before doing a check to make sure they are all asleep and safe.
When they are 18 and going out clubbing with their friends will I still be lay in my bed waiting for the door to unlock, them to stumble in and crawl into bed? Did my parents used to lie in bed and listen out for me bounding through the door at 3am from a night out?
I couldn’t imagine not checking on them before I go to bed. I have been known to sit awake and just wait for them to go to sleep. Even when Gareth and I were together and I was poorly, if I went to sleep he would be given very strict instructions not to go to sleep until they had.
Am I just extremely overprotective or is this something that all parents do?
When they are 16 and technically of an age where they are more than capable of taking care of themselves will I still be sneaking in their rooms?
Will I be that mum that goes to visit them when they have their own children and still weirdly goes and checks on them?
One thing I do know though, is that every night as I check each and every one of them, tuck them in and give them that sneaky kiss that they don’t even know about and tell them I love them, I couldn’t be more proud and more grateful that I am able to do so when so many people don’t get that simple privilege and I very nearly wasn’t able to.