Posh Chicken Stuff In A Lettuce Leaf Mummy Of 5 Miracle Style

If you have been following me on Instagram you will know that I have decided to become healthier therefore I often put up pictures of my dinner ( Yes I am one of those people). Anyway, one of my pictures which was a chicken fajita in a lettuce leaf drew a lot of attention. So I thought I would share my recipe with you but in my very own style, are you ready for this? 

Stuff you will need!

 

  1. Chicken breast – Cut into strips or you could use that bagged cook from frozen stuff.
  2. Onions – These need to be sliced, now I find the easiest way to do this is as fast as possible so you cry that little bit less.
  3. Red Peppers – Now when I made this I discovered that I had forgotten the bloody peppers with my shopping. I know I am aware that I am in fact an idiot. So I grabbed a bag of carrot batons out of the fridge and used them instead. ( Lets face it no-one in their right mind wants to stand there peeling and chopping them little shits up)
  4. Ground Cumin – This is pronounced Queue Min not Cum in like it is spelt.
  5. Paprika – Am I the only one who feels like shouting “Paprikkkkaaa” like you would shout “Eureka” whenever I see or hear this word?
  6. Chilli Powder – The strength of this is entirely up to you but don’t blame me if you get the squirts.
  7. Tin of tomatoes – I use the cheapest ones I can find and I have 2 reasons for this, the first being that I am a tight-arse and the second being that they all taste the same, they’re tomatoes.
  8. Lettuce- It really doesn’t matter which lettuce you use as long as there is a nice big leaf.
  9. Fat free yogurt  – Not strawberry that would be gross, Just good old-fashioned natural stuff. Although I do have to be honest and say I’m not entirely sure that it is natural, I’m yet to see a yogurt tree??

Right now for the cooking! 

In a deep frying pan throw together the chicken, onions, blah blah blah! Basically everything apart from the yogurt and tomatoes ( Oh yeah! Don’t put the lettuce in that would just be plain weird!) Cook it all until the chicken will no longer give you food poisoning. ( I.e is fully white, unless of course you get them crappy dark bits in it) Sorry I keep getting distracted ….As I was saying, Cook the chicken then add ya tomatoes and leave it to simmer.

Meanwhile in another pan, chuck in some water and boil in the bag rice – Yes I cheat but if I attempt to cook rice myself it somehow ends up looking like some sort of sloppy grainy mash. Follow the instructions on the packet.

The Presentation!

Find your best looking, big lettuce leaf ( No-one wants the manky bits and they look awful in photographs!) Give it a good swill underneath the COLD tap then do some kind of funky dance whilst shaking it around in the air to get some of the water off. For goodness sake DO NOT DROP IT!, It’s the best looking one remember.

Put it onto the plate then spoon in the chicken stuff. Get a cup, cut the top off ya rice and put it in the cup ( I promise I am actually going somewhere with this) Pat it down with a spoon then comes the fun bit.

1st you need to move the lettuce leaf, I know I told you to put it there but I forgot about the rice! With some kind of ninja speed tip the cup onto the plate and Hey Presto! It looks like you have been taught by a top-notch chef. OH SHIT! I forgot I told you to fill the lettuce with the chicken stuff. I hope to God you carried on reading before actually attempting to make this! 

Right then put the lettuce on the plate, fill it with chicken stuff, then mix your ‘natural’ yogurt with some Paprikkkaaa and put a bit on the top attempting to make it look nice. Very quickly and this bit is really important. Get out your phone and take a picture! You really need to get this done BEFORE your rice mountain falls down so the sooner the better really. 

Once you have done all this you can finally add the extra chicken stuff that you wanted on your plate but didn’t want to look like an absolute pig.

YOU’RE WELCOME!

x

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