The Other Side of Mental Health – Being on the receiving end

You may have recently read my anonymous post about mental health and finding a light at the end of the tunnel. Well I can now tell you that this anonymous post was actually from Gareth. You see we have been hiding a massive secret… Continue reading “The Other Side of Mental Health – Being on the receiving end”

Mental Health Awareness – Trying to find light at the end of the tunnel

I am going to start a series focusing on Mental Health. This has been something I have been thinking about doing since I published my post about self-harming in schools. Now I mentioned in that post how self-harming was becoming a trend and this meant that people out there who really needed the help were being missed. I think that Mental Health is something that shouldn’t be a taboo. It should be spoken about and people should be aware.

If somebody was lay in front of you with a bleeding wound you wouldn’t just leave them would you? So why are so many people expected to just ‘deal with’ mental health problems?. I am hoping that by raising awareness and sharing stories from people who are suffering it will help others. If these help just one person to relate and get help then it will be worth it.

My first story was emailed through to me today and I think it just shows how powerful mental health conditions can be and how they can take over everything! I think that the writer was extremely brave for sharing their story.

Mental Illness – Trying to find light at the end of the tunnel

Am I crazy?

Did that just happen?

Did anyone else hear that?

Just leave me alone?

Don’t go please stay?

 

These are just some of the many thoughts that happen not just in the day but within the minutes and hours.

It’s hard to admit you have something mentally wrong with you because of the stigma you are then labelled with immediately, you must be insane, something must have happened bad in your life or stay away from them there not right in the head they must be dangerous or it may be catching.

I always knew something was wrong by the way I could switch on a coin at any point, Mr nice happy bouncy guy to me cold and distant within seconds acting like I don’t even know you enough to care.

My temper was something uncontrollable just sat there inside waiting to come out whether it be nasty comments, shouting or just putting you down so you feel bad and hurt then all of a sudden CLICK. I’m walking around like it never happened and I can’t understand why you’re so mad.

Relationships don’t work when you so wrapped up in your own thoughts, your own world that you don’t have time or even the patience to care enough about someone else. Constant arguing, shouting, swearing, door slamming, making up, breaking up, making up a vicious circle of emotions that never fade never go away and just seem like routine.

Bouncing from relationship to relationship until you finally find someone who you truly care about and think they can change you, you will move heaven and earth for them they have everything you want in life right there in front of you and you jump at it before it flies away….time goes by it’s good then BOOM you make the biggest mistake in your life and you feel you lost everything in one moment but you get another chance.

When you are with someone in each others pockets for a long period of time you can’t hide anything you get to know their habits, there flaws, the things that make them smile, laugh, cry and unfortunately there’s only so long you can hold back issues you have with you until they see the multiple sides to you and suddenly your problem is now OUR problem. Shouting, swearing, temper tantrums, coldness, over happiness, hallucinations, hearing things all come at once and for someone who doesn’t have these problems or has ever witnessed it before it’s a scary thing to see.

The Breaking Point To Getting Help

A simple thing like washing up you hear something a voice, a lady’s voice but not your partner because she’s outside enjoying the sun, this voice calls you and taunts you and all of a sudden you lose your shit, within seconds your singing to the radio next thing your blubbing and running like your life depends on it out the house in case it follows you whatever it is.

Your partner try’s to calm you down for hours until the doctors are called to calm the situation. That then is the time to seek professional help I went to the appointments that were made and got diagnosed with a severe Personality Disorder, for those who doesn’t know what that means it’s a mixture of Bipolar, Schizophrenia and other disorders which explains why I’m so many different people and emotions all the time. Medication was given but as a means to try to sedate me but it wouldn’t workout so well.

My whole relationship has been based on lies, broken promises of giving time and attention, lack of interest in not only my partner but in myself to the point I was contemplating suicide…now there’s thinking about it constantly to I’m going to walk to the top of that building and it will be quick and over so soon but even despite all this the 1 consistent thing is my partner who’s weathered the storms and still stands there and here I am not even able to show her any sign of love or affection!

Change is in the wind

I’ve made my fair share of bad decisions and let things go past me without a care of who they would hurt, I’ve hurt loved ones and unloved ones. I can’t sit here and blame all this on mental health because if things need to be fixed it has to be from me inside,

I will take my medication, see the world how it is one day at a time and promise to my loving rock of a partner that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that you will get your happy ever after because you are my soul mate and show my children that its OK to have problems it’s how you deal with things that counts.

You could walk past me today and I will smile to you say hello and ask how your day is but all I ask and many people with Mental health issues ask is if you know we have this don’t treat us different don’t talk to us different or avoid us all together, we are just like you but it takes us a little longer to adapt to situations.

Thank you for reading

MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT! IT IS EQUALLY AS IMPORTANT AS ANY OTHER ILLNESS AND WE SHOULD BE MORE AWARE OF IT AND THERE SHOULD BE MORE HELP OUT THERE FOR THOSE WHO NEED IT. NOBODY SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FEEL THAT ALONE.

There are several organisations out there who do an incredible job and who can help you completely anonymously. I will list some below, You can look on the NHS website for more helplines if none I have listed below can help you. If YOU have a mental health story that you would like to share, completely anonymous then please do get in touch. Let’s break the taboo!

Anxiety UK – This is a charity that offers support to people who have been diagnosed with an anxiety condition

Bipolar UK – This is a charity that offers support to people with manic depression or bipolar

CALM  –  Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15-35

Mind – Mind is a charity that helps people suffering from mental health problems with support and help

 

** All quote pictures in this article were taken from google however the writing came from someone who deals with mental health problems every day.