You’re FAT!!!! and no I don’t mean with a PH we mean actual FAT!

Today has been what can only be described as f*cking horrible, awful, soul-destroying, hard, down heartening.   Tough. I have been called fat not once but twice!

Now don’t get me wrong I am fat, In fact I am over 15 stone of fat and more than aware of it but I am also working bloomin hard to become fitter and healthier.

I have done nothing but try to improve my health and weight recently by joining the gym, going to clubbercise, swimming and eating healthily and to be called fat is just like a big kick in the teeth.  Ironically until I actually started working out and losing weight I was NEVER called fat by anyone but I guess that will be because before I used to smoke so that was the go to thing to give me abuse for and now I don’t smoke they have to go to the next thing.

Fat Shame number 1

The first fat shaming I got was walking into the hospital. As I was walking along and checking my paperwork to make sure I was in the right place someone shouted out of their car window “F*cking Fat B*tch” now as much as I would like to think they weren’t talking to me I was the only person around at the time.

I have a couple of things to say to that person. Firstly yes I am fat but I can diet and I would rather that than have the disgraceful personality or attitude that you have. Secondly you have no idea what so ever why I was entering that hospital. I could have been going to see a very sick family member, one of my children, had an extremely important appointment and it could have been something serious. As it happens it was just a check up from my Essure Procedure but never the less you had no idea what was going on in my life or with me today whilst you were shouting abuse out of your window.

Fat Shame number 2

I went to the doctors as recently I have been really struggling to move after sitting or lying down for a long period of time. I assume that it is from all of the lumbar punctures I have received and I am genuinely a little concerned that it may have caused some serious damage. Anyway I went to the doctors who told me it was absolutely nothing to do with my lumbar punctures as it was in the wrong place ( I disagree, I know exactly where I had my lumbar punctures and where the pain is) anyway he said that my back was going into muscle spasm and that was causing the pain. He then decided to weigh me and turned all the attention off my bad back and onto the fact that I was overweight.

He told me everything I do is wrong, right down to the amount of exercise I do in the gym and recommended that I take up pilates.  I eat wrong, exercise wrong , you name it I do it wrong I actually left there got in the car and just broke down in tears. I was vlogging my day so you can see some of how my day went by watching that, I promise there aren’t loads of snot bubbles!

Anyway I dealt with the whole thing the way I do best…. I got home thought about it all and despite every ounce of me saying f*ck it eat loads of cake I got ready and went to the gym and took all of my frustrations out there, then I had a bath …

From me to everyone who is doubting me or is putting me down WATCH THIS SPACE!!!! I love nothing more than proving people wrong!

Thanks for reading,

 

Our Crazy Week – Pride, Pain and Hospital

WOW what a week we’ve had, I don’t know where to begin!. The beginning of the week was going smoothly, the older children were continuing their exam weeks and receiving some results. Annabelles teacher called me over to show me her excellent handwriting ( Annabelles writing usually resembles and ant crawling over the paper with a pen in its hand) and things were generally good then things got a little bit crazy!

He Dropped the garage on my head!

Wednesday morning I was walking out of the garage as usual to take the older 2 and their friend to school. We walk through the back garden and out of the garage to the car ( purely because I am too lazy to walk all the way round. As we were walking through the garage Harry let go of it thinking that everyone was out. Only I wasn’t! The garage door had a couple of screws sticking out and then kindly landed IN MY HEAD!

Somehow I managed to get everyone to school before going to the walk in clinic where they said due to it being 2 small puncture wounds that they couldn’t do anything to it ( there was nothing there to glue just holes) and to expect a big headache. I was fine and by the evening was in quite a lot of pain with my neck but nothing too worrying.

Really an Ambulance?

Thursday morning I woke up still achy from the whole garage incident but felt OK, Gareth on the other hand woke up shivering with a temperature so I sent him back to bed as I carried out the motherly tasks of the day. By Thursday night despite having paracetamol and ibuprofen to bring down his temperature and plenty of rest in bed, it wasn’t working and he was still very shaky. He called 111 for advice and next thing we know is 2 paramedics are walking through our garage ( don’t worry we got the screws removed so they weren’t at any risk or screws in heads)

After giving Gareth a check up they decided that due to his temperature being so high despite meds he should go to a&e. I called my brother to watch the kids then set off to the hospital to follow the ambulance. When I got to a&e Gareth was strapped to all manner of machines and was about to have a canula fitted. We thought it was a bit extreme for a temperature but it turns out they thought that maybe he had sepsis or meningitis.

If you read my blog regularly you will know that Beth ended up in hospital with almost the same thing a few weeks ago, in fact the only real difference was that Beth went blue and floppy and Gareth was still coherent. Other than that their symptoms were almost identical.

After being assessed in a&e we were told that he was going to have an xray and would be allowed home. I decided by this point to get back to the kids as it was gone midnight and my brother had work the next morning. I figured if he would be home in an hour there would be nothing to worry about.

Taking his mum to visit him Friday I can honestly say he looked 10 times worse than when he was taken in the night before, his body had a  yellow tinge to it and appeared to be very swollen.

They still had no answers and kept saying he had a viral infection. They continued to pump him with fluids, then they added in potassium and kept repeating blood tests but still despite doing all this they weren’t actually telling us anything. We just had to sit and watch him getting more poorly with no clue why.

He finally came home on Sunday after what seemed like the longest few days of my life.  On Saturday I sat in my kitchen and genuinely just felt completely lost. I just wanted him home and better. He is now tucked up in bed having a nap, the conditions of him coming home were that he rests, eats and drinks ( he didn’t eat or drink in hospital) and that if his temperature goes back up he is to go straight back in.  We are all very excited to have him home and Bethie wouldn’t leave his side, I think she may have missed her Daddy.

We STILL don’t know what was actually wrong with him but I am a little bit on edge now that both Gareth and Beth had similar symptoms and doctors struggled to figure it out. They both got very poorly very quickly. It makes me wonder if there’s some weird bug going through everyone and who will be next.

I am incredibly proud of the kids.

Not only has Ellie has 5 .. yes 5 postcards sent home from school because of her outstanding effort in the exams and reaching very high grades, Not only has Harry been nominated by teachers for a special award ( we don’t know what we find out at the special ceremony) , Not only has Annabelle finally improved her handwriting and been written in the gold book at school BUT the whole time Gareth was in hospital they ALL helped me massively. The bigger 2 helped with things like hot drinks, watching the little ones so I could tidy up or cook, Annabelle kept on top of the toys and put them away when they were finished with and even Freddie was absolutely golden, It was almost like he was a different boy. Every single one of them pulled together to help out their mum at a time where things were tough. I couldn’t ask for more loving, caring, genuine kids. Thank you guys

I am exhausted but very happy that Gareth is on the mend and my house is complete again , although I’ve still got a bit of a headache from that bloomin garage door!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Self-Harm the new trend in Secondary School

We’ve all been to secondary school and we are all aware of the stupid trends that go round. The latest craze. Well in my children’s school that trend is something not so great.  You see the latest craze is to hurt yourself! To self-harm. ( we have reported it to the school) The kids have reported to me that several of their friends have been cutting themselves. I have even seen snap chat pictures where some of the children have used pen or make up to make it look like they have cut themselves. This is causing me quite a lot of upset. Continue reading “Self-Harm the new trend in Secondary School”

Do you know the signs for sepsis?

Have you noticed all of the posters and things around at the moment about Sepsis? I’m guessing you have because they have been literally everywhere lately. I have seen them, now did you actually read them and take note about what they said and what to look out for? No, me either. Well this post is to say PLEASE take note and if you feel like something isn’t right then it probably isn’t. Continue reading “Do you know the signs for sepsis?”

Mum Flu & Baby Flu at the same time!

Today has been a bit of a surreal day. As I went to bed last night I noticed I was getting Mum Flu , nose dribbling , sore throat and a million soldiers banging in my head. I realised I was getting poorly. Gareth knew I was feeling a little under the weather as I had been suffering with a bad head all week and we just assumed it was part of my medical conditions until the waterfall of the nose began. So he left me in bed for a lie-in and it’s probably a good job he did. Continue reading “Mum Flu & Baby Flu at the same time!”

Benign Intracranial Hypertension – My Story

I was diagnosed with Benign Intracranial Hypertension when I was just 19 years old and at the time I didn’t have a clue. I remember going to the doctors because I’d had a headache for 4 days and just couldn’t shift it. The doctor checked the back of my eyes and said ‘ are you able to get to the hospital right away or would you like me to call an ambulance, I think you have fluid on your brain’ Continue reading “Benign Intracranial Hypertension – My Story”

2 days post procedure my sterlisation experience

I am currently 2 days past having the procedure called Essure sterilisation. I thought I would share the last couple of days with you so that if you’re going for this or thinking of it you will have a realistic view of how it is. You can read all about the actual procedure in my previous blog My Essure procedure. Continue reading “2 days post procedure my sterlisation experience”

My Essure sterilisation procedure

Today I went into hospital to have my ‘Essure’ sterilisation procedure. I thought that I would write and tell you all about it and what to expect if you’re having it done, I mainly decided to write this after looking myself for stories that weren’t horrifying before going in and I will be honest I really didn’t find any! Please note some of the information in this is taken from the Essure website whilst the rest remains details of my experience. ( Don’t worry it isn’t gross)  You can read how I made the decision to get this done HERE . Continue reading “My Essure sterilisation procedure”

Post pregnancy hair loss and the internal affect it has

I thought I would write about something that is really affecting my life at the moment, losing my hair and the reason I chose to speak about it is because I know there are a lot of ladies who go through this and how damaging it can be to your self esteem. Continue reading “Post pregnancy hair loss and the internal affect it has”

quitting smoking – this could be interesting

So the other day without anyone knowing I contacted the quit smoking clinic and booked myself an appointment, I have several reasons for wanting to quit but the main one being that recently I’ve been so run down and full of the flu and chest infections that I figured something has to give. Continue reading “quitting smoking – this could be interesting”