Being a mum is difficult isn’t it? First you carry your baby for 9 months, then you go through the excruciating pain of childbirth whether it’s naturally or via a c-section. As if all of that isn’t enough then you have to figure out the best way to feed your child, breast or bottle but it doesn’t matter which one you choose because someone, somewhere will judge you for it.
You then have to teach your child to walk, talk, write, read, count learn their colours. Then you have to explain things like hormones and as they grow you have to do your best to teach them right from wrong.
Then they grow up and have their own families and you see them less and less and it isn’t because they no longer care or no longer wish to be with you but it’s because they are focused on their own families and trying to raise their children as well as you have raised them.
One of the biggest thing about me is my love and passion for Christmas and that came from having parents who did everything in their power to make sure that we always had a great Christmas, full of magic and surprise. The little things I like to do are things passed down from my mum, such as making decorations, having hot chocolate.
Another thing that comes from my mum is playing games and having games nights. When we were little we would be sent to the shop with a pound and asked to buy £1 worth of penny sweets. Then we would take them home and they would be dished out between us all so that we had the same amount. We would then play card games and the winner would win the sweets that everyone ‘bet’ with. I still do this same thing with my kids although there isn’t such thing as a penny sweet anymore!
Friday night would be treat night, Mum would order a massive pizza to share between us and we would all sit and have a giggle. Sometimes we would have a massive bag of chips tipped out onto a plate and Mum would butter a loaf of bread and we’d all have chip butties. It wasn’t until I was much older than my mum told me the reason she did that was because she was short of cash so a bag of chips and bread and butter between us would be cheap and easy.
We never ever knew that our parents were struggling for money though, We always had everything that we needed and more. My parents would try their hardest to make sure that we had everything that we could possibly want.
As a child I was lucky that I always had plenty of holidays, for a short period of time we had a caravan so we would go and set it up in Borth where we would play games, do treasure hunts down the stream or go to the beach. Then we discovered Butlins and we would spend hours having fun, learning the party dances and spending time with the redcoats. Mum took them all in like they were her children , giving them bacon sandwiches or having parties when they finished work. She was their Mum away from home.
Helping out friends & family
One thing that anyone will tell you about my mum is that she always had welcoming arms if someone needed help. She took in so many different people who were struggling with their own parents and treated them as part of the family ( even down to making them make her a cup of tea!)
Nobody was ever left without as long as my mum was about, I lost count of the amount of times my bedroom was shared with other people who needed our help. But I didn’t mind as most of the time they were my friends.
Despite spending years and years battling health problems one thing I can safely say about my mum was that she was always there if we needed her. We haven’t always gone to her but that isn’t because we couldn’t and more because we didn’t want to.
14 years ago my mum was given 24 hours to live! 14 years! so the fact that we were lucky to be able to have her those extra years is amazing.
She got to meet all of her grandchildren, unfortunately she didn’t get to see meet her great-grandchildren but she would have adored every single one of them.
Despite all those things I mentioned at the beginning about being difficult to be a mum , the hardest thing I have ever had to do so far in my journey is try to support my children who have lost their Nanny as well as trying to deal with the fact that I’ve lost my own Mum.
My Mum passed away on Friday 22nd September 2017 and was just 64 , she has left behind the most incredible and dedicated partner, her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and will be very sadly missed by us all.
We take great comfort in knowing that she is no longer in pain and that she has some dignity back.
Sleep Well Mum
We Love You