Patience is not my strongest point

Anyone who knows me personally will tell you that I have the patience of a small child. Not just any small child. One who wants something and they want it now! When I say patience isn’t my strongest point it really isn’t

The waiting game

So it’s been 5 days since the neurologist informed me that I need to have a lumbar puncture and brain scan. Already I’m feeling extremely impatient.

Now I know it’s a bit weird to be eager to have a gigantic needle in your spine. However when you’ve spent a long time in pain every single day there comes a point where you just want it over and done with.

It really does help me

Don’t get me wrong the few days that follow having a lumbar puncture are awful. You can’t lie down because it hurts your back and can’t sit up because it feels like someones actually hacking at your head. This being said following the after math the relief is like something I can’t explain.

It is literally almost like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. There is absolutely no fun what so ever in having to wait 20 mins when you wake up to be able to move from the pain. All whilst having an over excited 4 year old who doesn’t understand they need to wait. I mean come on it’s breakfast time after all!

The pandemic is a worry

I’m not going to lie I’m a little torn at the moment. The hospitals are over run due to the pandemic and people are having to wait for months with serious conditions and I feel a little selfish for even taking up doctors time right now.

My eyesight however is deteriorating quickly so I know that I need these things done and rapidly to find out exactly what going on but I can see how people would be miffed that I’m being treated when others have much more life threatening and serious illnesses.

For now I will wait ( not very patiently)

Thanks for reading

Nice Neurologists do actually exist, it isn’t a myth!

I know I know who would have thought it? Now I’d like to apologise to those neurologists out there who still actually give a crap about their patients and don’t speak to everyone like they just been dragged in on the bottom of their shoe because I am aware not everyone is the same.

For the past 5ish years I have completely avoided neurologists due to having a bit of a love/hate relationship. Every now and then you find a diamond in the rough but the majority are what I can only describe as arrogant arseholes. Although they are brain surgeons so I guess that entitles them to some sense of arrogance.

What’s the deal with your attitude to neurologists?

The thing is I haven’t exactly had the best experiences of neurologists in my time of seeing them. The very first neurologist I had was a lovely man called Dr Newman who was very thorough , made sure I fully understood what was happening with me and my diagnosis.

Then I moved to Wales for a period of time and it just kind of went down hill from there. For some reason they just seem to have a whole heap of snootiness about them and it’s almost like they can’t actually be arsed to listen to you let alone help you.

Awful experience

As I mentioned earlier, I have completely avoided neurologists after an experience a few years ago that made me vow to just suck it up after an argument ensued following him questioning how many pain killers I had between January and March.

Now when I said he questioned me I don’t mean he asked, I answered and that was the end of the conversation. What actually happened was he asked, I answered. He didn’t like my answer so continued to hound me asking over and over. This resulted in me losing my shit and telling him he could ask me as many times as he liked and my answer would remain the same I didn’t bloody know! I’m not into the habit of counting every single tablet for 3 months and making a note of it. To cut a long story short he didn’t think it would be good for us to have any more appointments …..

The good doctor

No I don’t mean the amazing TV series about the autistic surgeon. Instead I mean the amazing neurologist I saw last Sunday. The prospect of seeing a neurologist didn’t fill me with joy but I was aware I didn’t really have a choice.

My eyesight and my health has deteriorated very rapidly since November to the point it has become quite scary now and I’m concerned about my future but I will reveal more about these things as the blogs progress and I find more things out about what’s happening.

Entering the hospital

Walking through those doors was not something I was excited about doing. I just wanted some help with recent things and wasn’t sure I was going to get it but as it turns out I had an amazing lady neurologist called Dr Ari.

From the second I entered her room she listened to everything I had to say. Questioned me in a way that was of understanding and empathy. She genuinely sounded like she wanted to help me to get better.

Ordering lots of different things from a lumbar puncture to a CTV scan I felt for the first time since that very first diagnosis at the age of 19 ( approximately 4000 years ago) somebody cared enough to listen and give me actual helpful advice.

It’s not all roses and butterflies

Don’t get me wrong I’m not impressed that I’m no longer allowed coffee, chocolate or fizzy drinks. Actually I’m not allowed anything remotely nice in my life at the moment but at least she is helping

So here’s to Dr Ari and her long journey of helping me to get better. Fingers crossed we remain with a good patient/doctor relationship. Get to the bottom of all this and kick ass 🙂

Thanks for reading

All New Mummy Of 5 Miracles – what’s changed at MO5M?

Hey everyone, long time no see! I figured it was probably time I picked back up my mummy of 5 miracles blog a little and got back to it. After someone told me it was something I am good at and I was stupid for leaving it. So I’ve decided things around here will be changing.

So What’s the plan Stan, what’s changing?

As some of you may or may not know I have a very big history of headaches. Including different diagnosis’s ( is that even a word? ) of Benign Intracranial Hypertension ( Also known as IIH) and daily chronic migraines.

I’ve recently had a lot of different new head issues and an emergency appointment with the neurologists. This has resulted in some pretty strict stuff I have to follow. There’s also some tests/ procedures that need to be done.

I figured that I can’t be the only parent out there trying to do this crazy lockdown life. Home schooling and more whilst also suffering with something that is often seen as nothing or is definitely misunderstood. So I wanted to give my blog a purpose and to start changing it. Give it a niche as they call it.

What can we expect?

This time round I am not going to sugar coat anything, If I’m having a shit day then I’m going to tell you it’s shit. I want to offer a brutally honest insight into my life, my head pains and parenting without the sugar coated crap that everyone else offers. If my kids are driving me mental I’ll tell you. Equally if they’re golden then I’ll show that too.

All too often we are expected to live a certain way, our houses are expected to be immaculate. our children are supposed to behave a certain way and obviously everything we do and say needs to look perfect for social media.

We all know that’s rubbish right?

I’d really like to show the reality of life, that you can still be a good parent if you haven’t hoovered that day or if you’ve decided to take a day off home schooling.

Good parenting requires more than what society says you should do and many of us are winging this parenting lark whilst trying to raise a small army.

I hope you enjoy the new Mummy of 5 Miracles and stick with me along this journey of messing up, being a bit rubbish and occasionally getting things right 😉

Thanks for reading

A lockdown 2020 love story! – part 2!

Ok I think I’ve kept you all waiting long enough for the second part of my little lockdown 2020 love story. If you missed it you can catch A lockdown 202 love story part 1 by clicking the blue text 🙂

After the flowers…

So after being surprised with the flowers , I realised I probably liked him a little more than I thought. It took me a while but at some point it clicked that the messages, the flowers etc obviously meant he liked me too. We spent a fair amount of time together at different meets with friends and each time he jumped at the chance to take me home. I’m not into the habit of getting lifts off random internet strangers but he was a nice guy!

The first kiss

It was after one of the lifts home that he kissed me for the first time! ( although I’d secretly been waiting for it several lifts before that one, each time my friend messaged to ask if he had kissed me yet!) We pulled up outside my house and he went in for the kiss, before stopping and asking if it was ok ( yes he really is that polite and nice!) I replied with something like ” It’s fine , I’m not 12!”

Once I got in the house I received a message saying ” thank god you’re not a sh*t kisser” we had a bit of a laugh and joke about it. I guess that is probably where it started. But in all honesty if you was to ask myself or Mark none of us can 100% tell you when things changed.

A first date was planned!

At the ripe old age of 38, I have NEVER been on a first date. When he heard about it Mark told me he was going to take me on one. We had arranged to go to a rollerskating rink followed by drinks and a walk. Then disaster happened!

We were all placed on lockdown!

The roller rink was closed down as was everything else. We were no longer allowed to visit each other. No more meets or walks. It was disastrous! Immediately when put into lockdown I thought that would be the end of my little love story but I was VERY wrong.

Video calls became life

Every evening without fail we would have a video call, sometimes last hours. We would mess around with stupid filters and just chat about life in general. Feelings were starting to grow! There was just something that made it all worth while.

Lockdown was hard work. I was alone with 5 children and nobody was allowed near or to help. One day I was looking out of my window and saw Mark walking towards my house with bags of shopping. He had gone out of his way to get things he thought we needed and treats for the kids. It was then that he would nip to the front door ( 2 metres apart) whilst on his 1 hour daily exercise on his bike.

Video calls meant we could see each other

Things started to ease

As lockdown eased we were finally allowed to meet up with 6 people. This meant that we could finally spend proper time together. I remember one night him looking at me and saying ” I know how I feel about you, I am in love with you” My heart could have burst there were that many butterflies floating around it!

Staying over at each others houses was reallowed

Once we were allowed our bubbles and to stay over at each others houses, Mark and I created our bubble. It was from there we would spend weekends together and one day during the week.

I genuinely cannot tell you how easy this was. There was no awkwardness, no anything. Whilst he was at work, if I was going home I would leave little notes around for him. One day he came home to a bit of a treasure hunt. I’d messaged him saying I’d left 6 notes and he had to find them.

Now where are we?

Well almost 6 months after that first night at N-Trance telling each other we didn’t want to meet anyone. We have met each others kids and they have met each other. We still spend every other weekend together and a day in the week. But a few days things changed.

We sat and spoke and decided that after Christmas we will be looking for a house together! I genuinely don’t know how I would have gotten through lockdown without him by my side. Everything is so easy , we never fight. Any issues are spoken about calmly and worked through ( there’s been a couple of teething issues but nothing more than smelly farts and his lack of like cheese, I mean what kind of strange being doesn’t like cheese!)

Hopefully my happy ever after

I am completely and absolutely, utterly in love with him and I can’t even explain how it happened! When I’m with him it’s like all my problems melt away. Since meeting Mark , My house is nicer, I am much healthier and don’t just slumped around in my pjs anymore. We’re always doing something whether it’s just going for a walk or chilling in the garden by the fire.

Ohhhh I nearly forgot to tell you… we even had our first date! but I guess that will have to keep for another story .. one day!

This is only the beginning of our love story ….

Thank you for reading!

A lockdown 2020 love story! Part 1!

All over social media I see negative stuff about lockdown 2020, everyone wishing the year away. Saying they want to draw a line under it. For many I can only imagine the struggles they’ve gone through from losing their jobs, to marriage/relationship breakdowns. Going for months without seeing their family or their children. Not to mention all of the sad losses of life. But for me it hasn’t been a negative experience at all! This is going to take a lot of writing so I will do it in a part 1 and part 2.

The beginning

At the start of lockdown 2020 I’d just started mixing with people more. Thursday nights were pool nights, there were bowling trips and walks up the Wrekin. It was at one of the pool nights I first met Mark. For quite a while before this night he had been trying to message me with very little response. Valentines Day I received a message wishing me a happy valentines. My birthday, I’d received a message asking if he could take me for a drink to make up for my rubbish day. I politely declined because I had the kids.

I knew a little bit about him but not very much

Whilst I knew him through a Facebook group where we had lots of interaction and banter. I really didn’t know much about him. On the first night I went to join my friends at pool I spotted Mark stood at the bar. As we had spoken on the group itself quite a lot, I’d decided to go and give him a hug and say hi. I’m not going to lie to you, I’d already stalked his Facebook and he profile picture at the time wasn’t the most flattering. Seeing him in real life I was quite shocked!

Missed opportunity

The night passed by and we didn’t really get a chance to speak. I was goofing around with the people I already knew and Mark had stayed near the quieter people. Getting home I couldn’t help but feel a little deflated we hadn’t had much of a chance to talk. Plucking up a little courage I sent him a little message on Facebook saying it was a shame we hadn’t had a chance to talk. He read it and ignored it! Being my cheeky self I’d sent another saying I can’t believe you’ve left me on read. Again! It was read with no response so I kind of sighed shrugged my shoulders and fired off one last messaged. It was saying I was sorry for bothering him. Then he actually answered saying he thought I’d sent the message to the wrong person

He bought a ticket!

After that we had started messaging every day, just general chatter and nothing overly exciting. My friend Anna and I were off to watch N-Trance at the local bingo hall the following Friday and I’d made it an open invite if anyone wanted to join us. Nobody responded ( Even after me practically begging a couple of friends to join us – Mark included)

Anna and I ready to hit the town

Off we went to the night out, I’d even gone to the effort of curling my hair and wearing make-up , if you know me then you’ll know that not me in the slightest! Around 10ish Mark sent me a message saying he was on his way. I knew he was out with some other friends of ours so assumed he meant all of them but he appeared on his own. I’m not gonna lie I was glad he turned up. Buying that ticket would then go on to change EVERYTHING!

A heart to heart

N-trance finished and I’d tried to convince Anna to join me in a local late bar, she wasn’t overly keen but Mark said he would come with me. After grabbing a drink we headed outside where we stood and chatted for literally hours. Now this is where you all think awww they fell in love and lived happily ever after. The truth is that wasn’t the case at all. Chatting about our pasts, parents, children and where we saw ourselves in the future. Both of us concluded that we were happy leading a single life and making new friends. Each of us having quite a lot going on in our personal lives and wanting to sort them before meeting anybody at all.

I caught a bug!

The Sunday afternoon , chatting away to Mark through messenger he reiterated the fact he was staying single and I agreed. Now this is where I let you into a little secret, from that Friday night in the outside of the bar. I couldn’t stop thinking about him!

There was something about his eyes and the way they lit up when he was talking about things he was passionate about, such as his dad, his kids or cycling. Completely in denial over what was blatantly in front of our faces we carried on chatting as normal.

Monday I woke up and started being sick. Without thinking I’d written on the group that I wasn’t feeling well, Mark quickly offered to get me anything if I needed it. Whilst in my bedroom there was a knock on the door and in front of me was the biggest most beautiful bunch of flowers I’d ever seen.

Where they came from I had no clue till it was pointed out to me there was a card. Written on it was the words ” Hope the flowers make you feel better, Looking forward to spending time with you From Mark x”

To be continued ……..

Jobs are like buses!

So here’s the deal, You might remember a while ago I basically wrote a plea on my blog for someone to give me a job. I stated how desperate I was to go to work and earn money to make my family life better. The result was that NO jobs appeared at all!

I muddled on through the last god knows how long and kept applying for jobs. I did have a part time job in a local shop for a while but it worked out I was literally working for nothing as universal credits take 63p out of every pound after you have earned a certain amount so I left it again.

Applying for the worlds supply of jobs

Recently I got really fed up. Lockdown meant that social interaction was very sparse. There is only so much conversation you can have with little people. I mentioned to a friend that I was job hunting who told me about a vacancy within the covid track and trace system. Having sat through the interviews I was offered the position. In fact better than that they offered me a position that was in a supervisory.

Due to technical errors the start date was delayed. I decided it would be more sensible to keep looking for jobs.

Dream job!

Every since I was younger I have always had a big interest in social work. Helping out children who have had a less fortunate start in life. Feeling like I was giving them a fighting chance at a good life.

There was a vacancy advertised for a support worker in a childrens home and despite having no experience. I decided to apply anyway in the vain hope I would be given the opportunity.

The application was filled in and interviews were taken. Again I was offered the position. This time it was more promising as I spent a week doing some pretty tough training.

Again this was delayed. Due to the nature of the company references and checks all had to come back before I could begin my job. My DBS came back relatively quickly. ( shock to you all I know but turns out I am actually an angel and I have the paperwork to prove it)

Opportunity knocks when you least expect it

Whilst waiting to begin the new support work vacancy , again I decided to apply for more vacancies. These ranged from shops to fast food chains. Cleaning to a delivery driver. What I did wasn’t really important as long as I did something to try to help lead a better life. There’s no worse feeling than seeing your kids in tatty shoes and having to wait before being able to get them new ones ( that’s a whole other story)

Anyway, I’ve side tracked on my little story. Scrolling through Facebook I saw a few jobs that looked interesting. One caught my eye and it was for someone to help a company with their social media. To apply you had to send an example of your videos and they would get back to you. Well in all honesty my videos are either really poor quality or dodgy humoured Tiktoks so whilst the job sounded ideal I gave it a little like but didn’t apply.

Sunday afternoon I was pottering about the house, sorting my bedroom out when I got a message through messenger. It was from the guy who had advertised the social media job. He was asking my why I hadn’t applied and I explained that my videos were pants. After chatting for a while and him saying he had read my blog he invited me to have a chat with him.

Exciting stuff

After a lengthly phone call I was offered the job! And that is where I am now. This morning I went down to the office to meet him and discuss the position and I officially started working for the company today!

I’m super excited to take on this new exciting position and whilst I’ve never officially had any experience of doing anything like this. I am hoping that writing this blog and being a complete and utter social media addict will mean that I will be pretty good at it!

Today I had first hand experience of the kind of products they stock and they’re brilliant ( here is where I do my first shameless plug) go check out and have a nosey for yourself. It’s a shame I’m far to big to play on any of it!

The irony

Ironically , as I’ve been sat working out the frist things that I will be doing for my new job, An email has pinged through from one of the other jobs about trying to get me started ASAP

Jobs are like buses !

Thanks for reading

Walking my way to a happier, healthier me!

If you know me then you’ll know that one thing I’ve always struggled with is my weight. I’ve tried diet after diet. Going to the gym, swimming. You name it I’ve tried it! But more recently I’ve discovered the power of walking!

Photographs can make you realise

I’d been to a friends house for a bbq , She had decided to throw a 6 people bbq in order to cheer me up as it was my mums birthday and we had an incredible time. A good laugh, amazing food and played a few games. Everything was nice and happy until I saw the photographs!

When I left my house I thought I looked respectable in a red top and jeans. What I didn’t realise was just how many lumps and bumps it showed. Another friend Tracy sent the photos over the next day and I was absolutely mortified! Aware that I was overweight but completely and blissfully unaware of just how much!

It was time to do something about it

I’ve been the kind of person that will jump on a diet become ridiculously addicted to it then something happens and I fall off the wagon. A bit of an endless circle. These photos however made something somewhere click.

There was no “I’ll start tomorrow or Monday” I was starting this there and then. A slimfast starter pack was on offer on Amazon , so I bought it with next day delivery. Invested in an extra large water bottle and I was ready to go.

My friend Trisha had started walking a short walk everyday so I joined her. After a good walk and chat I realised I actually quite enjoyed it. Soon we were joined by our friend Roy and the 3 of us started taking more walks and making them longer.

Creating a group

We discovered a new passion for walking and Trisha mentioned about starting a new facebook group for other people in the local area to motivate each other on our weightloss journies. Our walks became a daily thing and we started advertising in the group. Before we knew it there were loads of people all wanting to join us on them.

Noticing a difference

The first thing I noticed was that after 2 weeks of walking daily I no longer needed to stop for breaks and to catch my breath. I was able to do the whole thing without stopping at all. Drinking water has also become a bit of an obsession and I’m even seeing the benefits from that too. The hair that I was so stressed about losing is starting to grow back. My skin looks healthier and I’m sleeping so much better! I’m rarely in bed after 11pm now!

I no longer overthink!

Another thing I have noticed is how I no longer overthink the world. I used to spend hours and hours at night time tossing and turning. Going over all the conversations I had that day. Worrying about mindless stuff and generally stressing. You know those people who just go to bed and fall straight to sleep? I used to think they were weird! Like how on earth do people even do that?

Since walking I am now one of those people! If I’m tired I climb into bed and drift straight off to sleep. Feeling stressed is very rare and in general I feel mentally stronger.


I’ve been doing this for 6 weeks now and have already lost 1 stone in weight just by walking and counting calories. It’s crazy when you start counting calories how much you realise things are so bad. An example being, One day I was making the kids a cheese sandwich and was going to make one myself till I looked up the calories in it. Insanely you can have a whole huge salad with chicken and bacon for less!

I’ve still got a very long way to go but I’m definitely very motivated. Last week I was poorly so didn’t do as much. Instead of doing what I usually do and throwing in the towel I waited until I was feeling better then got straight back on it.

Chicken and bacon salad

Walking is a free and incredible thing to have. There are so many nice places you can walk, the benefits are totally worth the blisters and sore feet!
I’ve even managed to get the kids out walking with them joining me on long walks up the local Shropshire hills.

Thanks for reading

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Leaving school in 2020 during lockdown

As we all know this year has been a bit crazy with Covid-19 swooping in and changing our lives. But could you imagine being in Year 11 during this time and missing out on vital things such. Saying goodbye to your friends being taken away from you. GCSE exams being cancelled after all of your hard work. Prom that you’ve spent all year looking forward to not existing? I thought I would let you all see what it is like from the viewpoint of Harry my 16 year old, who had to leave a week earlier than lockdown due to his sister having a cough.

How did you feel when you had to go into isolation before school officially went into lockdown?

To begin with I was really annoyed at my sister as she had a temperature for one day. The school then wouldn’t let me return for 14 days due to the isolation period. My GCSE’s were fast approaching and I was panicking about having enough time to prepare for them.
My school had put a red carpet out and whilst all of the year 11 students walked down it everyone gave them a round of applause. I was sad that I didn’t get the opportunity to join in.

How about when all of the schools went into lockdown?

Not being able to say goodbye was a huge annoyance. There was a large amount of uncertainty and I wasn’t sure if I would get to see them again before we all went onto college.

It came on the news that GCSE’s were cancelled. Were you happy about this?

To be honest, I was feeling both relieved and disappointed. This was because I had spent the past 5 years of my life working for one singular goal. Just to be told it was for nothing. However I was relieved because I wasn’t doing too well in English and having a different way of marking them meant that my grade may improve.

Prom is yet another thing that you missed out on isn’t it?

Yes, It’s very disappointing that I didn’t get to go to prom. I had already been out with my grandad and bought my suit and was prepared for it. That is now hung up in my wardrobe waiting for some kind of occasion to wear it too.

What has lockdown been like for you?

At the very beginning of lockdown boredom kicked in and I found myself doing small jobs around the house to help my mum out. It was very frustrating not to be able to go anywhere or do anything especially when you’re as sociable as I am.
As we started to come out of lockdown I found my first proper job which was exciting. It allowed me to start having responsibilty with my own money.
During lockdown I had plenty of time to think about my identity and finally came out as gay to all of my friends and family which was a massive relief. Thankfully everyone was extremely supportive. I was surprised that not one person was homophobic towards me in anyway.

What are your plans moving forward?

Hopefully I will get into college and do an ICT level 3 after the plans for the first college I was accepted to got halted due to lack of contact during the Covid-19 lockdown.

I have also looked at and applied for some apprenticeships so right now I am just waiting to hear back from different places before making my final decision. Although time is quickly running out and it is starting to make me feel a little stressed.

August 20th I’ll be going to collect my GCSE’s so not failing any exams would be a bonus!

Thanks for chatting to me ( although it was painful and like trying to get blood out of a stone 😉 )

I went pole dancing!

When you think of pole dancing, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Pretty girls in lacy underwear swinging gracefully around it? Men in strip clubs? As a whole pole dancing doesn’t have the best reputation.

I heard through the grapevine that it is actually a really great form of exercise and great for strengthening. As well as being extremely fun so I really wanted to give it a try. Baring in mind I’m a uk size 16 I’m not a small girl so never thought I would actually pluck up the courage to do it!

The beginning

I’d noticed a post for a company called Liberty Pole Dance Academy on Facebook about pole dance fitness classes and shared it. One of my friends Trisha spotted it and mentioned that she had always wanted to try it too. So a session was booked. There was no backing out now.

My first thoughts upon booking it was, Is that pole going to be able to hold this fat ass? What if I’m just too big for it? Maybe I’m just not strong enough. However Trisha is a very energetic and her zest for life is extremely contagious so I knew I’d just have to suck it up , put my ( extremely) big girl pants on and get on with it.

The studio

I’m not entirely sure exactly what I was expecting when I turned up but what I can tell you I wasn’t expecting was to find a beautiful dance studio complete with fairy lights!

As we entered I was a little apprehensive. There was a sign asking us to use the hand santiser upon entering due to the current covid-19 situation. We were then asked to fill out some medical forms and a special form with regards to the virus before being advised to take off our shoes and the class would start.

The warm up

The session was started with a warm up. This involved lots of stretching and some squats! Squats hurt and I commented how I was aching already when we hadn’t even done anything!

For a split second I felt like I’d been transported back to 1989 in Mr Evans PE class. Rolling my shoulders backwards and forward the only thing missing was the chariots of fire music he always used to play.

Walking the pole

After warming up it was time to start learning. The first thing we were taught was how to walk around the pole. Now I have to point out about now that I am not, nor have ever been remotely sexy or elegant so if you picture an elephant on tip toes stomping round it will probably give you some image of what I looked like.

Sally the instructor demonstrated how we should do it and I couldn’t help but just stand and watch in awe as she gracefully tip toed around the pole with ease. With crossing our feet in front of each other than gliding round the pole, we very quickly picked it up. Shock , Horror I can be graceful!

Sliding down

Get your minds out of the gutter! I know you’re sat there chuckling about sliding down poles and if you wasn’t you are now 😉

Again Sally demonstrated how you could elegantly wrap your hands around the pole before placing your leg out in front of you and slowly sliding your back down and ending up on the floor.

Now, I’m not going to lie, I watched her and immediately thought ” I’m going to wrap my hands around that pole go to slide down it and just fall down and give myself a dead arse”

Shockingly it turns out that I’m actually quite good at sliding down poles. ( stop sniggering!) I had this in the bag!

Being sexy!

After mastering how to slide down the pole the next thing to learn was how to get up from the floor using sexiness and elegance. Again I am neither!

Sliding first one foot out, then the other before sticking her bum in the air. Followed by her boobs and head Sally was just amazing! There was absolutely no way in this world I was going to be able to even get my feet out let alone stand up and be sexy!

I was wrong AGAIN! I easily managed to do exactly what I was instructed and thought for a split second that there was hope for me after all!

Spinning around

Next up was spins! now we’ve all seen it on films, tv shows and some people in real life. These people make it look so easy to glide around the pole like they’re on some kind of carousel. Let me assure you this wasn’t the case for me!

Whilst Trisha seemed to be a complete natural at spinning around her pole, I on the other hand just couldn’t do it! No matter how hard I tried, how many attempts I had. I just couldn’t seem to lift my feet off the floor!

Head Stand

When I was about 10 I was like the world champion of headstands. I could be up there for hours. One thing I have never done however is a headstand against a pole!

Our hands had to be placed into a triangle ( this is not a natural position or a head stand when you think you usually have your hands apart) before placing our heads down , taking a step towards the pole and pushing ourselves up.

Surprisingly on my second attempt I was up! Here I was at the ripe old age of 38 doing a headstand against a pole that was rested neatly between my bum cheeks and it felt amazing! Maybe I could actually be good at this pole dancing

Warm down

All too soon it was time to start stretching and warming down before ending the session. We were shown how to stretch the different muscle in particular our arms and shoulders. After all they had just spent the last hour holding our body weights. The pole was used during the warm down too. Somehow making it feel easier because you had something to lean against.

Overall view

From the start to the end every single part of the experience was exciting and fun. Our instructor was extremely encouraging and even on the parts we felt we couldn’t do she cheered us on and helped us get through it.

I genuinely feel like I worked out more in 1 hour of pole dancing than I do in an hour and a half at the gym!

My legs are covered in bruises but every single one was worth it. Once I’m in a better financial position I will definitely be returning! I can see how pole dancing can become extremely addictive and fun!

Thanks for reading

Well Hello there!

Hello guys. It’s been a while hasn’t it? How is life treating you all? Good I hope. After being given a talking to by my new(ish) partner Mark. ( I’ll tell you all about him soon) I have decided that I should probably restart blogging. I’ve so much to tell you all about but it would take possibly 100 years for you to read it all so I will ease in gently. Let’s start with a super quick update on everyone!


As you are all aware Harry was in Year 11 at school and sadly due to Covid-19 he was unable to finish school in the usual way. There was no signing shirts, no prom and more importantly no GSCE’s.
Harry felt like he had worked so hard for nothing. Not been able to sit his exams and say goodbye to his friends or have his prom was hard to swallow.
Now he has left school officially and is waiting on his results he has applied to college and is also looking at apprenticeships. He has even gotten himself a little cleaning job too!
He has also recently come out as gay and I couldn’t be prouder of him.


Ellie is a typical teenage girl, full of hormones and attitude. Nah I’m kidding she is as usual golden. Lock down hasn’t really affected her because she isn’t the most social person in the first place so having to stay home has been a nice break for her. She has spent a lot of time focusing on her artwork , she even designed my new logo!


Unfortunately this was an important year for Annabelle too as she was due to sit her sat’s and leave year 6 ready for senior school. Again she missed the opportunity to say goodbye to her friends. I think it must be super difficult especially knowing she is going to a completely different school to most of her friends. She has handled it well though and has spent a lot of her lock down glued to youtube! She has however been inspired to start blogging herself and is looking to blog the trials and tribulations of being a preteen. What this space!


Freddie has really struggled with being in lock down and you can tell he is missing school. He is really growing into a big boy now. Full of imagination and creativity. I never know if he’s Freddie, a magician or Dracula these days! He can’t wait to get back to school and to his friends.


My little curly haired madam! Bethie has her own personality now. She can go from angel to crazy tantrum throwing toddler in 0.6 seconds. You can see she misses the interaction at nursery and is starting big school in September! Off to full time she goes!

Then there is me!

I’m actually doing bloomin amazing! I’ve met a new guy who is just awesome. I’ll tell you all about him in another post. I eat heathier, I’m constantly active and doing something. Recently I landed a dream job that I am waiting for the start date for and everything is slowly coming together. I even walk miles everyday now ( yes I know me!)