Bullying : Why? Really does it make you feel better destroying somebody else?

You may have seen the video I made recently regarding Harry and the fact that right now he is going through a really rough time. I wanted to write a post in the vain hope that it will stop anyone from treating others the way I have watched Harry be treated. I hope it will stop them destroying someone else’s confidence the way they have my amazing son!

Bullying is something that I will never EVER take lightly. I don’t care what other people class as bullying. I know from my own experience of bullying and how I felt that it is no laughing matter. If by writing this post I can make at least one person sit and think about what they are doing to another person then it will have served its purpose.

Put yourself in their shoes

You are calling that kid over the table names. You are turning people against them. You’re also spreading rumours knowing full well they aren’t even slightly true.  This person used to be your friend. They trusted you. They thought you would be friends for life.

Now I want you to sit there for a few seconds and just think how you would feel if that was you. If it was you who suddenly went from having loads of friends to being the kid that everyone hates all of a sudden. I want you to sit there for a few seconds and think to yourself how it must feel to be so terrified of the things that you’re going to see and hear during the day that you don’t want to leave your house. Put yourself in the position where the thought of even trying to go to school fills you with absolute dread and worry.

How does it feel? I’m guessing not very good right?

Soul Destroying

I have mentioned it a few times in my posts and a while back Annabelle suffered quite badly too (Thankfully shes now doing incredible and I can’t thank the school enough for their help) How soul-destroying it is as a mother to watch your children go from the amazing bright and bubbly people who you have watched grow and flourish into someone you barely recognise all because of other people.

This week alone I have seen my son with an expression of pure panic at the thought of having to leave the house. I’ve seen people be outside our house telling him terrifying things such as ” you’re going to have your neck snapped in two ” , ” Everybody hates you ” , ” They’re going to invite you to a theme park and when you’re on the fastest ride they’re going to release your seat belt ” ( yes all of those things have actually been said to my son!) what’s worse is the fact that despite me keeping him off school where I want him to be and feel safe they are still delivering the messages to our door.

My son, my incredible son spent hours and I mean hours online comforting these people when they had problems. When his Nan died instead of being a pillar of strength and supporting him like normal human beings do when a friend is in trouble, they chose to turn against him!

Who is Harry?

Anyone who personally knows Harry will know that he is one of the kindest, friendliest most caring people in the world. OK so he doesn’t like football, rugby or other sports and he doesn’t play video games ( yes I know a teen who doesn’t crazy huh!?) but does that make him less of a person? I can tell you that he is incredibly talented when it comes to technology, sciences and things that require to use your brain. In fact his ambition is to become a doctor. And do you know why my son wants to become a doctor? Because he has grown up watching me suffer badly with my headaches. He has witnessed me have lumbar puncture after lumbar puncture and he said to me , ” Mum, I’m going to become a doctor, so I can help fix your head and make you feel better “.

That is the kind of boy my son is. Because he is caring and supportive. He doesn’t prowl the streets causing trouble and he likes to get his head down and work hard as he wants a career it seems to make him the target for bullies.  This has happened to him a couple of times now and I am so proud of him for speaking out about it.

You see I have drummed it into ALL of my childrens heads that if they have a problem they come directly to me and they report it and together we will help sort it. So he has done that and I can tell you that despite reporting it over and over again they just get worse and worse. I spend all my time encouraging them to talk to a teacher or myself for them to get knocked back time and time again. But Harry is a clever lad and despite the disgusting, hurtful and shocking things said to him he continues to report it. I am beyond proud of the fact that he refuses to back down. We spent a long time campaigning against bullying and we will continue to do it.  I have assured him that this won’t last forever.

If I was the parent of a bully

Now I know nobody wants to think that their child is being cruel, vindictive or nasty to another but sadly it happens. If I found out one of my kids were bullying another?? I would make damn sure that I made that child of mine feel as small and isolated as the people they had bullied.  I would take them personally to the door of the person they bullied to apologise and I would make it very clear that it wasn’t acceptable. Sadly in Harry’s case we tried to contact parents concerned and quite frankly they couldn’t give two hoots!

So my message to ALL of you is just be bloody nice! Honestly, Harry doesn’t care if you don’t like him, he does care if you are making him feel insignificant. He also cares about getting good grades to have an incredible career so leave him to do that! What can he possibly do that is so bad it warrants you treating him the way you do?

One thing I can assure you? If anything and I mean anything at all happens to my son because you think it’s cool to make him feel like this.. I will hold you fully responsible.

 

 

 

 

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