Last week we heard how Rebecca from Mummy Est 2014 was affected by bullying in her story. This week we have the incredibly beautiful and amazing Victoria from Lylia Rose telling us about what happened to her..
Please could you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself.
My name is Victoria, I’m 31 and live in South West England with my husband, two young children, some fish and chickens! I’m a self-employed blogger and homeworker .
Can you remember when the bullying started for you? Where were you? What happened?
My bullying started once I went to senior school. It was in science class and the three other people on my table started to make fun of my long nose. They made me turn to the side so they could measure it with a ruler. They nicknamed me concord. One of them used to call me names as I walked home from school and even started calling my home phone to taunt me.
Can you remember how it made you feel at the time?
It made me feel terrible. I hated going to school. I’d cry to my mum once I got home. I had a sinking feeling deep in the pit of my stomach every day. Before now I’d been a child in junior school who only cared about climbing trees and going out on my rollerblades, now I was in senior school and had people ridiculing how I looked. I’d never thought about my looks before or even knew I had a big nose. It shattered my confidence.
How has bullying affected you in your life and how you are as a person?
It absolutely killed my confidence and until recently I was always a quiet person around others as I have been so self-conscious about my nose. My paranoia of my nose affected me every day for twenty years. It has consumed my thoughts for far too long. Unfortunately I grew to hate my nose and I’m not sure if this is because of the bullies or because I actually didn’t like it myself. I’ve just recently had rhinoplasty and I hope I can get on with my life now without ever thinking about my nose again.
If you could change anything about your experience what would it be? What would you do differently?
I should have gone to the teachers myself. I told my mum everything and didn’t know she was telling the school, but they ‘monitored it’ and didn’t actually do anything for ages. By the time they did talk to us the bullying had stopped. The damage was already done though. I remember my mum complaining they took too long to do something. My mum actually answered one of the phone calls from the bullies and she put a stop to it. She wasn’t very polite to them, let’s put it that way!
I also wish I’d had the confidence not to care what others thought of me. I wish I’d realised I didn’t care what those kids said because why would I want to be friends with horrible people like them? I wish I had told the science teacher and moved tables and made new friends. I wish I’d have realised they were probably insecure themselves and chose to pick on me as an easy way to stop themselves being bullied. I wish I’d have had the confidence and courage to get away from them and form new friendships.
If you could give one piece of advice to somebody who is going through bullying now what would it be?
Tell your teachers and tell your parents. I’d love to say to ignore it, but I know how deeply bullying can affect you and that ignoring them is easier said than done. The best thing is to speak up and distance yourself from the bullies. Perhaps if I’d have told my teacher and been moved tables it would have stopped a lot sooner. Do not be afraid to tell someone.
You can find out more about Victoria or contact her on the links below