If you follow me on Facebook then you will know that Gareth and I have decided to part ways. Whilst we care very much about each other it simply isn’t working and the passing of my mother has just reinforced how unhappy we both were and mutually we have decided to split but still raise the children together. So I am now faced with the scary fact that I am now a single mum of 5 children!
Sometimes in life things just don’t work and for us it’s a case of too much has happened in such a short amount of time and it’s things that whilst they can be forgiven they can’t be forgotten. What’s the saying? Too much water under the bridge… It’s sad that it has come to this and we are both upset that it didn’t work but we also both want different things from life.
I feel incredibly lucky that despite not working out as a couple when it comes to parenting we are on the same page and I am not left to do it completely alone as Gareth very much wants to do as much as he can to help and we still want to both raise the children.
However neither of us are naive and whilst for now it will work out fantastic, we are both aware that in the future things will have to change and our lives will be completely separate. Despite knowing this is for the best and has to happen the prospect of being a single mum to 5 children terrifies me.
I mean I am hardly a great catch, no career, 5 children, overweight, failed relationships. I don’t really have a lot out there going for me. Not only that but Gareth is a fantastic father to all 5 children and when the time comes for him to move on it is going to take some hard work to get myself into a strict routine and even the simplest things will become more tricky as we are used to sharing the responsibility.
I just hope that when the time does come to move forward the thought of 5 children doesn’t terrify everyone. I can see exactly why it could and would but I’m hoping that when I’m ready to move on people will take the time to learn about the children and myself before making any assumptions.
What if we both meet crazy people? Like actually crazy?
Despite my fears about the future I know that this is the right decision for our family and whilst I’m worry about the future and what it holds I’m also very aware that it will be a very long time before I will be ready to move forward and I need to work on finding myself again and building my confidence first.
Wish me luck!!!