Patience is not my strongest point

Anyone who knows me personally will tell you that I have the patience of a small child. Not just any small child. One who wants something and they want it now! When I say patience isn’t my strongest point it really isn’t

The waiting game

So it’s been 5 days since the neurologist informed me that I need to have a lumbar puncture and brain scan. Already I’m feeling extremely impatient.

Now I know it’s a bit weird to be eager to have a gigantic needle in your spine. However when you’ve spent a long time in pain every single day there comes a point where you just want it over and done with.

It really does help me

Don’t get me wrong the few days that follow having a lumbar puncture are awful. You can’t lie down because it hurts your back and can’t sit up because it feels like someones actually hacking at your head. This being said following the after math the relief is like something I can’t explain.

It is literally almost like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. There is absolutely no fun what so ever in having to wait 20 mins when you wake up to be able to move from the pain. All whilst having an over excited 4 year old who doesn’t understand they need to wait. I mean come on it’s breakfast time after all!

The pandemic is a worry

I’m not going to lie I’m a little torn at the moment. The hospitals are over run due to the pandemic and people are having to wait for months with serious conditions and I feel a little selfish for even taking up doctors time right now.

My eyesight however is deteriorating quickly so I know that I need these things done and rapidly to find out exactly what going on but I can see how people would be miffed that I’m being treated when others have much more life threatening and serious illnesses.

For now I will wait ( not very patiently)

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Nice Neurologists do actually exist, it isn’t a myth!

I know I know who would have thought it? Now I’d like to apologise to those neurologists out there who still actually give a crap about their patients and don’t speak to everyone like they just been dragged in on the bottom of their shoe because I am aware not everyone is the same.

For the past 5ish years I have completely avoided neurologists due to having a bit of a love/hate relationship. Every now and then you find a diamond in the rough but the majority are what I can only describe as arrogant arseholes. Although they are brain surgeons so I guess that entitles them to some sense of arrogance.

What’s the deal with your attitude to neurologists?

The thing is I haven’t exactly had the best experiences of neurologists in my time of seeing them. The very first neurologist I had was a lovely man called Dr Newman who was very thorough , made sure I fully understood what was happening with me and my diagnosis.

Then I moved to Wales for a period of time and it just kind of went down hill from there. For some reason they just seem to have a whole heap of snootiness about them and it’s almost like they can’t actually be arsed to listen to you let alone help you.

Awful experience

As I mentioned earlier, I have completely avoided neurologists after an experience a few years ago that made me vow to just suck it up after an argument ensued following him questioning how many pain killers I had between January and March.

Now when I said he questioned me I don’t mean he asked, I answered and that was the end of the conversation. What actually happened was he asked, I answered. He didn’t like my answer so continued to hound me asking over and over. This resulted in me losing my shit and telling him he could ask me as many times as he liked and my answer would remain the same I didn’t bloody know! I’m not into the habit of counting every single tablet for 3 months and making a note of it. To cut a long story short he didn’t think it would be good for us to have any more appointments …..

The good doctor

No I don’t mean the amazing TV series about the autistic surgeon. Instead I mean the amazing neurologist I saw last Sunday. The prospect of seeing a neurologist didn’t fill me with joy but I was aware I didn’t really have a choice.

My eyesight and my health has deteriorated very rapidly since November to the point it has become quite scary now and I’m concerned about my future but I will reveal more about these things as the blogs progress and I find more things out about what’s happening.

Entering the hospital

Walking through those doors was not something I was excited about doing. I just wanted some help with recent things and wasn’t sure I was going to get it but as it turns out I had an amazing lady neurologist called Dr Ari.

From the second I entered her room she listened to everything I had to say. Questioned me in a way that was of understanding and empathy. She genuinely sounded like she wanted to help me to get better.

Ordering lots of different things from a lumbar puncture to a CTV scan I felt for the first time since that very first diagnosis at the age of 19 ( approximately 4000 years ago) somebody cared enough to listen and give me actual helpful advice.

It’s not all roses and butterflies

Don’t get me wrong I’m not impressed that I’m no longer allowed coffee, chocolate or fizzy drinks. Actually I’m not allowed anything remotely nice in my life at the moment but at least she is helping

So here’s to Dr Ari and her long journey of helping me to get better. Fingers crossed we remain with a good patient/doctor relationship. Get to the bottom of all this and kick ass 🙂

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All New Mummy Of 5 Miracles – what’s changed at MO5M?

Hey everyone, long time no see! I figured it was probably time I picked back up my mummy of 5 miracles blog a little and got back to it. After someone told me it was something I am good at and I was stupid for leaving it. So I’ve decided things around here will be changing.

So What’s the plan Stan, what’s changing?

As some of you may or may not know I have a very big history of headaches. Including different diagnosis’s ( is that even a word? ) of Benign Intracranial Hypertension ( Also known as IIH) and daily chronic migraines.

I’ve recently had a lot of different new head issues and an emergency appointment with the neurologists. This has resulted in some pretty strict stuff I have to follow. There’s also some tests/ procedures that need to be done.

I figured that I can’t be the only parent out there trying to do this crazy lockdown life. Home schooling and more whilst also suffering with something that is often seen as nothing or is definitely misunderstood. So I wanted to give my blog a purpose and to start changing it. Give it a niche as they call it.

What can we expect?

This time round I am not going to sugar coat anything, If I’m having a shit day then I’m going to tell you it’s shit. I want to offer a brutally honest insight into my life, my head pains and parenting without the sugar coated crap that everyone else offers. If my kids are driving me mental I’ll tell you. Equally if they’re golden then I’ll show that too.

All too often we are expected to live a certain way, our houses are expected to be immaculate. our children are supposed to behave a certain way and obviously everything we do and say needs to look perfect for social media.

We all know that’s rubbish right?

I’d really like to show the reality of life, that you can still be a good parent if you haven’t hoovered that day or if you’ve decided to take a day off home schooling.

Good parenting requires more than what society says you should do and many of us are winging this parenting lark whilst trying to raise a small army.

I hope you enjoy the new Mummy of 5 Miracles and stick with me along this journey of messing up, being a bit rubbish and occasionally getting things right 😉

Thanks for reading